Moving Thoughts

A bridge near the house we are hoping to purchase. There have been a lot of water crossings in our lives lately.

I haven't posted here since October.  It isn't that I didn't have things to say!  It is just that there has been a lot going on.  Also, at sensitive times in an institution like the church, it is important not to over speak.  My last post was about the Eliot Church downsizing their staff and what that meant for me.  A great deal was pretty open-ended back then, but now there has been quite a bit of resolution.

Long story short...I am moving. I went into search while looking at part-time options that would have kept me in Natick.  In the end, I accepted a full-time position as Pastor at the Second Congregational Church of Greenfield Massachusetts.  I am in the process of buying a house in Franklin County.  Allison and I (and to greater or lesser extent the boys) are leaving Natick after over twenty-one years.

2nd Church of Greenfield and a bunch of traffic from my "candidating weekend". I only took a couple of pictures that week. No doubt there will be more!

This has been a whole process, of course.  Which no doubt I will reflect on when the time is right.  However, I wanted to get back into the habit of blogging and--now that there is some certainly around future and current roles--this seemed to be a good time.

One of the trickiest parts of this transition is saying "goodbye" and then saying "hello".  Part of both processes involve boundaries.  In the ministry there are rules about when, where and how we interact with former congregants.  These rules loosen up a bit over time but right now they are in effect.  That is OK.  When we live our lives in the church we try to promote healthy relationships both when we arrive and when we leave.  Here is the newsletter column I posted for the Eliot Church about how the goodbyes will go through the last few weeks of my time at Eliot and for the next year at least...

Dear Eliot Members and Friends,

The dumpster has been removed from our lawn.  Parsonage-watchers know it has been here for two weeks as we explored the depths of our basement and attic for the sort of accumulation that happens over the course of twenty-one-and-a-half years.  Remember how, back in February, Rosemary and I made a series of announcements about my departure and reassured everyone that we still had plenty of time to say goodbye?  Well, that time has ticked away and now we are only a couple Sundays from my final service on May 18.  In honor of that deadline, it is worth lifting up a few things about how the month of May will go.

The first thing I want to bring up has to do with what happens after May 18.  There will be a few weeks where we are in and out of the parsonage, living there while getting it ready for whoever lives there next.  This is normal.  You can wave if you see me, but I will not be working for Eliot anymore and will not be available for Eliot Church things.  In fact, I will be moved out of the office by my last Sunday.  

Also, denominational leaders have already met with the Parish Committee so many of you know that once I start my new job I will not be hanging out with anyone from Eliot for quite a while.  There is a one-year period where we are encouraged not to contact each other.  This is to give you all space to develop a new relationship with a new church staff.  For my part, I will not be visiting Eliot Church for at least that long.  Most likely it will be longer.  I will also be working to develop connections in Greenfield and Franklin County so will be busy with my new ministry and new community.

All this means a few things. First, if you have something you want to tell me you better do it soon!  If I don’t hear from you that is absolutely fine. No pressure!  However, I will be available for coffee and other things if you do want to reach out.  

Second, it would be great to see you at the after-party on May 18!  I know you have all received the notice in the newsletter and at church, but it would be great to see you all in one place one last time.  This goes to any general community members who get our email as well.  Come on down!  It will really mostly be just us.  The only other people I have explicitly invited are some of our former staff members…and you know them. 

Third–and this is important–please know if I stop “liking” your Facebook posts or don’t show up to important events I would have previously been at for you or your family, it isn’t because I don’t care.  During this transition–particularly early on–we are learning to have a different relationship.  I will be your former pastor who formerly did those things. For most of you I know this will not be a big deal.  However, if it is for you, remember that there are good reasons for my absence or seeming indifference on the social networks.  None of them have to do with you. 

A few of you may remember that my predecessor, Michael Boardman–someone I knew outside Eliot–did not return to Eliot Church until I was established as the pastor.  Ultimately he did drop by from time-to-time to go to church with his family and hang out at coffee hour.  It just takes a period of different experiences that create some necessary distance.  In my case it will be longer than it was for Michael.  For one thing, he retired after serving Eliot. I, however,  will have a full-time gig almost two hours away!  Still the time will come.  Just not right away.

Well that's some heavy stuff isn’t it?  I hope to see you in church over the next few weeks anyway.  It is good to be together while we can.

Yours in Faith,
Adam